


Plausible Implausibility

by DaniJayNel



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, F/F, YumiNa, my second OTP, stud love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-17
Updated: 2014-08-17
Packaged: 2018-02-13 14:17:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2153694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaniJayNel/pseuds/DaniJayNel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ymir and Nanaba are college roommates, but Ymir is conflicted about her feelings. It doesn't help that she gets drunk, and drunk people tend to say and do the craziest things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Plausible Implausibility

**Author's Note:**

> *heavy breathing* Guys, this was bound to happen. This contains Ymir and Nanaba being intimate with each other. I have this hectic thing for butchxbutch pairings. *more heavy breathing*

Ymir felt warm breath brush over the back of her neck and cracked her eyes open at the sensation. An arm tightened around her stomach and pulled her back against a warm body. Her eyes opened, and then she panicked.

Soft light filtered in through the windows. For some reason they hadn’t been closed the previous night, so a breeze flew through the crack in the curtains alongside the sunlight and rustled the thick material.

A hot and tightening sensation pulled at Ymir’s stomach and her throat was absolutely dry. If it wasn’t for the person against her that was making her panic, then it was the torrent of memories crashing down on her. Ymir managed to turn around despite the strong arm attempting to lock her into place and once she was flat on her back she turned her head and internally cringed.

Her roommate and best buddy, Nanaba, slept soundly beside her. It was Nanaba’s arm still draped over her stomach, and they were both naked.

Ymir wasn’t confused. She knew what had happened. But what had happened, _exactly_? The memories were definitely there, but they became more blurry the farther back she thought.

The weight of what they had done the previous night sent chills down Ymir’s spine. As much as she wanted to admit that it had been a huge mistake, she couldn’t deny the flush that overcame her skin and the pleasant growling anger that took her chest.

Just how the hell had she ended up in bed with the one person she had sworn _never_ to sleep with?

Nanaba looked so damn out of it, and it pissed Ymir the hell off. How could she sleep so soundly after they had fucked when they weren’t supposed to?

“Fuck,” Ymir tore herself out of Nanaba’s warmth and headed for the shower. Nanaba hardly reacted and just remained in the same position, minus Ymir against her body, and continued to sleep like a rock.

A shower was needed. To clean the scent from her skin and the memory of the touches that had been shared.

_What the fuck was I even thinking?_

Ymir pressed her forehead to the shower wall and breathed in deeply through her nose. The water hadn’t even turned warm yet but she hardly noticed, since all her mind could focus on was her current situation and the consequences.

Nanaba and Ymir were roommates at college and had been for a few years now. In the beginning Ymir had thought that Nanaba was uptight, boring and an overall hardass, but over time they grew to like each other. It was totally platonic at first, a sort of brotherhood in fact. It was no secret that both of them looked and dressed like men. They were often mistaken for guys, anyway. Findings girls to hook up with was a difficult feat because of that.

Though girls would flock to them, because they were rather attractive, once they discovered their true gender they would immediately retreat.

There had only been a few instances when a girl under the misunderstanding had no change of mind once she was told the truth. Some people just swung all ways. And Ymir had never thought that she would ever swing this way.

Not the gay part, because she was definitely very, _very_ gay, but since she had been a young teen she had thought that she had a very specific type. Short, blonde and adorable. Ymir preferred the submissive, shy and timid types. Girls she had to protect and lean down to kiss.

So when did she find herself attracted to the complete opposite? Sure, Nanaba was blonde too, but her hair was short. Ymir thought she had liked her girls with long hair.

Obviously after getting over the initial discomfort and dislike they communicated more and discovered the things that they had in common. At one stage they had even started a game where they would sit together in public and guess which girl would reject them and which wouldn’t. Ymir had enjoyed those games, and it had become a different sort of game. It had turned into a competition where one would dare the other, or one would try to get as many numbers or dates.

But over time Ymir became irritated with these games.

The instant it happened was still a blur, and no matter how hard Ymir tried to think about it she just couldn’t remember the point in time where her feelings from being bros to developing a romantic desire had happened.

There was always a kinship between them, due to their similar looks in terms of masculinity and the troubles they faced due to that. People were awful, judgemental creatures, and most of the male population on campus would react violently when they discovered that the ‘guys’ picking up more chicks than them were actually females themselves. It was entirely an ego thing. But Ymir and Nanaba had only been attacked twice.

The first time it had been Ymir alone when she had been returning after a late class. A group of guys had been waiting around the corner of the apartment building where she stayed with Nanaba. When they jumped her Ymir had been overpowered due to her surprise, but Nanaba had magically appeared and all Ymir suffered was a black eye and a bruised ego.

The second time they had been together at a bar playing their game again. A group of guys, different ones, approached just to cause trouble. No one intervened when voices rose and insults were slung. Ymir, being Ymir, refused to take any shit and punched the first guy that insulted her way of life. An intense bar fight had broken out and the duo managed to sneak out, but not without broken noses and bleeding lips. Nanaba even had split knuckles and when they returned home Ymir had to clean and bandage them for her.

Ymir remembered that dark night like it had happened the previous day.

_“Ouch,” Nanaba hissed._

_Ymir rolled her eyes and tightened her grip on Nanaba’s hand. “Shut up, you wuss. It isn’t that bad.”_

_Nanaba snorted. “You aren’t a gentle person, Ymir. Ease up on the pressure.”_

_Ymir lifted her eyes to send Nanaba a bored look and then she exhaled through her nose. She grinned though. “Sure thing, you big baby. Didn’t know something like this hurt you so much. If you cry I sure as hell won’t wipe your tears away.”_

_Nanaba chuckled humourlessly. “Har har. Remember the time you were getting your ass handed to you and I had to jump in to the rescue?” Nanaba lifted an eyebrow and smirked at the scowl that took Ymir’s face. “Exactly. You wouldn’t stop whining like a child when I cleaned your wounds.”_

_Ymir’s heart clenched at the memory. She didn’t understand why but her stomach fluttered. She felt a light blush cover her face at the memory and hurriedly finished bandaging Nanaba’s hand. When she was done she put their first aid kit away and stood up from where she had been kneeling between Nanaba’s legs._

_“Whatever,” she muttered, heart thudding with something odd._

From around that time Ymir found herself unable to wrestle angrily with Nanaba like they used to, or give her one armed hugs or just hang all over her. Being comrades allowed them to be that physically close, but it became more than that to Ymir and she absolutely shied away from any of their natural playful contact.

After a while she stopped touching Nanaba at all and avoided any type of physical contact. Nanaba noticed.

Their relationship became heavily strained. Whenever Nanaba spoke, Ymir would grit her teeth because of how much she enjoyed the sound. When Nanaba stepped out of the bathroom just after a shower, with her hair still a wet, tousled mess, Ymir would force herself to glance away because of the sudden thoughts overtaking her mind.

Ymir wasn’t supposed to want her best friend. She was supposed to find some cute short blonde that depended and relied on her. Not someone as similar as her. It truly bothered her, but the feelings had begun to hurt.

More than anything Ymir had begun to miss the ease they had had between them, the bantering and bickering. Sometimes others would comment that they acted like a married couple with all the arguing they did. Ymir would always cringe.

She missed their friendship, and now she knew that they would never be able to return to how they were. Because of what had happened, what she had let happen, everything had changed. What had Nanaba been thinking in the first place?

The possibility of Nanaba feeling the same was certainly out of the question, at least as far Ymir was concerned.

After a long while of thinking Ymir finished in the shower because it had long since turned cold and she was starting to shiver. She avoided Nanaba’s room, where she had woken up, and went to her own to dress. Luckily it was the weekend so they didn’t have to leave for anything.

Or maybe that wasn’t so lucky after all.

Ymir dressed in a pair of shorts and a short sleeved grey shirt. She ran a brush through her wet brown hair and didn’t even bother to do anything with it. When she was done she did not immediately leave her room, though. To be honest, she was terrified.

_How can I possibly face her? How can I walk into the room and look her in the eye after what happened last night?_

Ymir swallowed and her anger rose once more. She hated not being honest most of all, and she hated being forced to hide in her room because of a stupid cowardly fear. All she had to do was go out there and straighten everything out.

She had been drunk, even Nanaba was sure to know that. People said and did crazy things when they were drunk. Maybe Ymir hadn’t been _that_ drunk, but Nanaba didn’t need to know that. Exaggerating wouldn’t cost her anything.

Eventually Ymir’s pride won out and she strode confidently out of her room. That confidence faded with each step she took and by the time she entered the kitchen and found Nanaba sitting by the table, a newspaper in her one hand and a bowl of cereal on the table in front of her, the other hand by her mouth as she lifted a spoon to it, Ymir internally deflated and froze in terror by the door.

Flashes from the previous night covered the back of her eyelids and made her skin itch.

_Lips brushed against her stomach and Ymir could do nothing but tighten her grip on short blonde hair and groan into the night air. A chuckle filled her ear and Ymir managed to pull Nanaba up until their faces were level._

_“Don’t think you’re on top,” Ymir snarled in anger._

_Nanaba responded by lifting an eyebrow. She lowered her head and started to trail light kisses along Ymir’s jaw while rocking against her. Within seconds she was flipped onto her back, and then she laughed._

_“I don’t think either of us are on top.”_

Ymir covered her face with a hand and grit her teeth too hard. Shit, shit, shit. Why did she have to remember _that_ the moment she goddamn saw Nanaba’s face? Why couldn’t she just forget everything like she was supposed to because of her drunken haze?

Of course, Ymir hadn’t been all that drunk.

“Ymir?”

Ymir stiffened when that goddamn voice reached her ears. She hesitantly uncovered her face and slowly cracked her eyes open. Nanaba was looking at her with concern and a crease between her brows that Ymir thought was adorable even though she hated to admit it every time she thought it.

She had an intense urge to march over to Nanaba, pick her up and throw her into the wall and then punch her in the stomach. She also had an urge to kiss her senselessly afterwards. So she instead swallowed hard and walked further into the kitchen. Her eyes darted away from Nanaba’s and she fixed a bowl of cereal for herself.

Nanaba didn’t look shocked or scared or repulsed. She didn’t even act like they had fucked the previous night. Why did she look so calm? Ymir wondered if she was really panicking on the inside too.

Even if she didn’t feel the same, wouldn’t she have some sort of reaction to sleeping with her friend? Ymir was starting to get pissed off again.

Ymir sat down opposite from Nanaba and awkwardly chewed on her cereal while she tried her damn best not to look at her. Nanaba had gone back to eating her cereal and reading the newspaper when it was apparent that she would receive no answer.

They remained silent and ate. Nanaba finished sooner than Ymir and she got up to clean her bowl and neatly put the newspaper in the section where they always kept them. She then returned to her seat and sat back with her arms on the table. Nanaba leaned forward and crossed her arms, and then she rested her chin atop them and looked at Ymir expectantly.

Ymir felt every single move that Nanaba made and then that gaze. The spoon lifting to her lips faltered for a second and began to tremble but she continued eating like nothing had changed.

“How did you sleep?” Nanaba asked.

Ymir inhaled sharply and nearly choked as she swallowed. She coughed lightly and then stood to dump her bowl into the empty sink. Nanaba sighed softly and Ymir just knew that it was because she wasn’t going to wash her bowl immediately—she vowed to try and do it later. Ymir remained by the sink though and didn’t turn around.

“Fine,” she muttered softly. Part of her wanted to glare over at Nanaba and say something insulting. Who the hell asks that after the night they had? Nanaba knew _exactly_ how Ymir had slept. She’d goddamn been there the whole time.

“So I was thinking that maybe we could continue with that zombie story we were watching. I’m pretty sure a few more episodes were released.” Nanaba sounded so calm and unconcerned.

Ymir remained quiet for a long moment. She kept trying to convince herself to agree and frolic along happily with Nanaba like nothing had happened, the way she seemed to be taking the situation. But her heart clenched and it hurt and she was definitely furious by now.

Did Ymir really mean that little to her that she could brush last night off this easily?

Ymir decided not to care, and the torrent of emotions slowly died down in her chest. She took long and slow breaths and eventually regained her usual calm and confidence. With this she was able to turn around and lean against the counter and then look up and meet Nanaba’s blue gaze.

“Why did you fuck me?” Ymir asked.

Nanaba sat up and blinked hard for a few seconds. “You…” She seemed at a loss for words, so Ymir filled the silence instead.

“Why did you respond to my drunken slurs last night? Why the hell did you even let me into the apartment? I was a mess! How did you go from sobering me up to taking advantage of me?” It was awful to say because Ymir was someone that simply wasn’t taken advantage of, but she wanted to say something hurtful, something that would evoke a response, and it did.

Nanaba stood up and took a step towards Ymir. “I took advantage of you?” She didn’t sound as angry as Ymir had wanted her to be, but there was a dangerous glint in her eyes. Ymir felt no fear of that and responded to it with her own challenging gaze.

“I was drunk. That’s the only explanation.”

Nanaba suddenly strode forward which forced Ymir to quickly step away until her back was pressed to the wall and Nanaba stopped directly in front of her.

“I didn’t expect you to bring it up,” Nanaba said. The anger drained from her eyes and was replaced by sadness. “I expected you to act like nothing happened last night. Why did I sleep with you?” She shakily grabbed the front of Ymir’s shirt and then shoved her against the wall. “Because you begged me to and I wanted it.”

“What the fuck do you mean with that?” Ymir grabbed Nanaba the same way Nanaba had done to her and shoved her backwards. “You ‘wanted it’? I begged you?”

“Can’t you even remember what happened?”

“Of course I remember! I…” Ymir stopped her continuous shoving and paused. She did remember but not all of it, and it made her angry.

_Nanaba repeatedly checked the clock with a worried frown. It was late, dark and raining outside and Ymir hadn’t returned home yet. Ymir had often stayed out late to drink and would often return home drunk, but she had never been this late before. Where was she?_

_After another few minutes passed Nanaba decided that she couldn’t wait anymore and she had to go and look for Ymir, so she grabbed her coat by the door and hurriedly opened it. She certainly did not expect Ymir to be there, soaked to the bone and her fist paused in front of her as she had been just about ready to knock._

_“Ymir?” Nanaba stepped forward and looked to either side to see if anyone was with her. The rain poured noisily behind Ymir but luckily they were protected by the roof that hung over the porch. “Where were you? I was getting ready to—”_

_Suddenly Ymir grabbed onto Nanaba’s shirt and violently pulled her in for a hard, unexpected kiss. It was rough and panicked and when Ymir pulled away Nanaba could only blink and squeak in surprise. Ymir then pushed her into the apartment and kicked the door shut behind her._

_Nanaba could taste the alcohol that had been on Ymir’s tongue and she knew that she was drunk. But she was still stunned by the kiss and couldn’t stop Ymir from shoving her against the door and pinning her there._

_“Fuck me,” Ymir demanded. She was breathing heavily and her chest heaved. Despite having been in the cold her skin was burning and her hands were trembling._

_Nanaba swallowed and a wave of something hot washed over her. This was a forbidden fantasy she had only ever allowed herself during the night while in bed, and now Ymir was saying those very powerful words to her so out of the blue._

_Was this why she had become so distant?_

_Nanaba’s eyes widened and she shook her head. “Ymir, you’re drunk. We should wait until you’re sober and then talk about this tomorrow.”_

_Ymir growled angrily and crushed their lips together again. She snuck a hand underneath Nanaba’s shirt and scratched down the length of her stomach. Nanaba shivered violently but quickly caught the hand and pushed Ymir away. Hurt flashed across Ymir’s eyes and Nanaba’s heart twinged._

_“Please, just drink some water and clear your head a bit.” Nanaba slipped out from between her friend and the door and made her way on shaking legs to the kitchen. Ymir followed._

“After that you told me that…” Nanaba paused to take a deep, shaking breath. “That you… that you need to know how it is before you decide to let it go.” And then she grinned. “And then you practically attacked me and I decided to give in.”

Ymir nervously scratched her cheek in an attempt to hide her blush and looked away. “I don’t remember that part.”

Nanaba sighed softly. “I really thought you would just avoid me afterwards like you have for the past year. I didn’t expect you to ask me about it so forwardly. It…” She put her hand on Ymir’s shoulder. “It makes me happy.”

Ymir folded her arms across her chest and frowned. “You’re happy I brought it up?”

Nanaba nodded. “Because that means you won’t pretend that it didn’t happen.” Nanaba smiled in exasperation. “Ymir, I don’t know what reasons you have for the way you’ve been, but I don’t care what other people would think. Sure, you are totally not my type at all.”

Ymir snorted. “You can say that again.”

“But I just… I can’t help what I feel but I can’t do anything if you aren’t willing.”

Ymir unfolded her arms and sighed, but then Nanaba pulled her by the shirt and grinned at the way Ymir glared angrily and tightly gripped onto her wrists. She really wouldn’t let anyone take advantage of her.

“I like you more than I should,” Ymir said with a glare. “It’s fucking weird.”

Nanaba grinned. “So what. Are you really going to pretend to feel something you aren’t? Isn’t that going against your meaning of life?”

Ymir growled but had to nod. “If you really mean everything you’ve said then you better prepare yourself.” Her deep frown turned into a smirk.

“For what?” Nanaba swallowed.

Ymir suddenly pushed her up against the wall and pinned her arms above her head as she kissed her hungrily. Nanaba battled against the grip and managed to pull her arms free from Ymir’s hands. She then shivered when Ymir ripped her shirt off and smirked dangerously. She leaned in close until their lips brushed but not did initiate another kiss, instead she answered Nanaba first.

“For the fight of your life.”

Nanaba met her gaze and grinned at the challenge. This time she started another fervent kiss and started pushing Ymir backwards out of the kitchen. Ymir grunted and struggled and eventually had Nanaba up against the wall in the passage.

Nanaba laughed loudly, and the struggling continued all the way to the bedroom. Ymir grinned and decided that if they were going to do this, then who would eventually be on top?


End file.
